Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize