I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
