Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
