i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
