fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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