i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
So squirting runs in the family.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
