I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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