i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
