she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
