The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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