i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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