Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I would fuck him just for his dog
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
