some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
