your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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