Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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