there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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