She announced her abortion via fbk
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
