if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
