Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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