so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
