It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
