he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
