you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
