My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
