There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
