The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
