i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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