Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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