I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
