I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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