Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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