i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
