okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
How does one acquire holy water?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
