hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
