He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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