dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
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