I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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