There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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