there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
