he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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