other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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