So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Can you bring me the toilet please
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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