I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
