Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
