Please, let me fuck your mom
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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