You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
