I never want to see another naked old woman again.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
