trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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