i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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