remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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