Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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