...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
