i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
