i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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